Suffocating Madness

# 159

Friday, December 18, 2009 { 1:48 AM }

It's an hour past midnight and left only thirteen hours. God knows how nervous I am right now. Whenever I imagine how situation's going to turn out in the hall later on, my heart beats so fast. I finally prayed and of course, I did pray for an amazing result. I hope I'll meet the criteria for the next level. God willing.

Some has seen how hard I've studied and some has seen how tired I was after sleeping only an hour in a day. Some has seen how stressed I was and some has seen how I spent the days and nights. I seriously hope that my effort will not go to waste.

Even if I couldn't make it, I still have my back-up plan. On a second thought, I just want to get to the next level so that I don't have to waste hundreds of dollars for the plan. One thing that worries me most is still bothering me. I just don't want to disappoint my parents.

Fortunately, my parents are fine with my back-up plan. But you know, I rather study in Springfield. It saves a lot of money. There's nothing else I can do for now. I just wish for the best. I studied hard for all of the papers and now, the rest is up to God. Whether he wants to give me good news or bad news, it's up to him. Let's just hope for the best. Anyway, thanks for all the best wishes. All the best to everyone who'll be receiving the results later on.

Finally, I got to meet my two lovely ladies after all. I met Issha at the interchange first before taking a train to City Hall. We went off to Peninsula first as I wanted to get some tops and badges before going to Marina Square to have lunch at Breeks (like finally)! I ate mayonnaise and I guess it's an amazing achievement for me. Seriously, mayonnaise tastes so bad and sour. I'll never like it. Never! We then took a cab to Far East Plaza to meet the other lady. We thought of going to Mango as it was having sale. In the end, a few seconds after we stepped into the shop, we quickly went out as it was so crowded. So, we just walked around the area.

I'm too lazy to elaborate actually.

Something then came up. I had to go home early on that night. I was supposed to go to my aunt's place, but I was told not to at a very last minute. I went home and was surprised to see my grandmother. She was so sick. She spoke so weirdly. She asked whose bed she was lying on and whose room was she in. Also, she even asked whether she was lying down on the mattress or on the bed. I felt so depressed last night and it was the worst feeling ever! I couldn't see her in pain and she barely move.

Things were in a mess. I was so fucked up for real last night. I don't know who the hell I was mad at. I just felt so fucked up. My grandmother wanted to go to the toilet and she was making everyone in a rush. Like I've said, she was so weak. She was like a puppet without any master controlling her movements. We had to use my chair with wheels to bring her to the toilet and she was so damn heavy, I tell you. Looking at my mother carrying my grandmother to the toilet, made her sit on the toilet bowl and cleaned her after that, made me cry. My mother did most of the job and I was sitting on the sofa in the living room doing absolutely nothing. I wanted to help her, but I couldn't see my grandmother in pain. I was too scared and weak. My relatives came and brought her to the hospital. I was alone with my brother at home. I stayed up and waited for everyone. I missed my grandmother at that point of moment. Thank God, she finally came home. She was feeling a lot better and I even asked her to dance. She did! So cute of her. Her sugar level was low. She's fine now and I'm so glad about it! Alright, time to go! I'll update more soon! Good night!